


Piece of Mind

by Coby_Thinks



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Angst, Canon Typical Violence, Garcia is like accidentally albiest but she learns and like grows, Gen, Just Vibes, Mentions of past abuse, OC with OSDD, OSDD, Past Abuse, So yeah, This fandom needs better rep of systems, and I thought why not, cuz I have OSDD, did, hmmm, mental health, she didn't mean it, uh, we'll see if I need to add any warnings, yee
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-20
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:15:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27648056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Coby_Thinks/pseuds/Coby_Thinks
Summary: After the childhood he'd had, Russell Scott devoted the rest of his life to studying trauma and how it impacted someone's psyche. That path led him to a career he'd never thought possible for someone like him - a profiler at the BAU. The only difference between him and his new team of coworkers is that he shares his brain and body with ten other people.An AU in which I insert a character with OSDD (similar to DID, you can look it up if you want specific details). As a system (though there are like sixteen peeps in my brain) I've found some problems with the representation they have in the show, especially in later seasons *cough* scratch *cough*.So, I've made an OC roughly based on myself, but not completely, who has OSDD and joins the team! It's set somewhere around season three or four... it's before JJ became a profiler, so she's still the liaison because I liked her character best when that was her role lmao.Warnings will be posted in the notes for every chapter!I hope you enjoy! Don't be afraid to ask any questions, I just can't guarantee an answer! <3
Comments: 11
Kudos: 35





	1. Chapter One

“Agent Hotchner?” Russell knocked lightly, poking his head past the already open door. Hotchner looked up, meeting his eyes. “I’m Agent Russell Scott, I-”

“Ah, yes.” Hotchner put down the paperwork he’d been reading and gestured to the chair in front of his desk. “Come on in, I’ve been expecting you.” Russell nodded, putting his bag on the floor next to the chair as he sat down.

“I know you wanted to go over some things with me before I started today,” Russell said quickly, tugging at his sleeve. “And I’m fully aware of the conditions to me being part of your team - the director made sure I did before he agreed to it.”

“You don’t need to worry, Agent Scott.” Hotchner seemed amused, though he wasn’t smiling. “I read your file, and a good friend of mine performed your psychiatric evaluation. He’s on the team as well, though I’m sure you know that.”

“Agent Rossi.” Russell nodded.

“I just wanted to make sure you were alright with the conditions before we get too deep into a case,” Hotchner explained, this time offering a light smile. Russell nodded, though he was surprised.

“You… you aren’t worried about me? About… this?” he gestured vaguely up to his head, though it was really his brain he referred to. Hotchner shook his head.

“I don’t see much reason to be worried.” He explained. “We’ve come across dissociative identity order before, yes, but those were extreme cases.”

“That’s true, the vast majority of systems aren’t violent or a danger to others.” Russell agreed, feeling relief flood through him. “The cases where it does happen are stigmatized by the media, and only really occur when the trauma hasn’t been dealt with.”

“I think you’ll get along well with the team.” Hotchner chuckled, which was a surprise. Until that moment, he’d seemed almost robot-like. “So you are comfortable with everything about your position here?”

“Most of the conditions were suggested by myself,” Russell confessed, shrugging with one shoulder. “I prefer to be unarmed, stay profiling as much as possible. I’m… I’m certified to be a field agent, but I’d prefer to stay at the base of operations. It’s a safety measure that seems to be a given with the director, and my therapist. To prevent any overly traumatic triggers.”

“But you’ll be able to see the pictures, listen to details, and all that?”

“Yeah. The only time you’ll need to worry is if I tell you to be worried, or if something happens directly to me. It’s… I’d probably have joined the bureau earlier if I wasn’t working on all that.”

“Your skillset will be valuable,” Hotchner said. “A master’s degree in psychology, a focus on trauma studies… I’m interested to see how your perspective will help us.”

“I’m excited to put it to use,” Russell replied, smiling.

“One more thing,” Hotchner glanced out the window to his office, where the team had trickled in for the day. Russell could see a few of them looking curiously at the office. “So far, the only people on this team who know about your condition are myself and Rossi. It’s up to you if you tell the rest of the team.” Russell frowned at the use of the word ‘condition’, but he didn’t have any other way to describe it, either.

“It’s not a huge secret,” he shrugged. “I’m probably not going to open up my introduction with that, but if it becomes relevant or there’s a good time, I’ll let people know.”

“Alright.” Hotchner smiled and stood up. Russel followed suit, shaking his hand. “Let’s go get you introduced, then.”

“Thank you, Agent Hotchner.” Russell tried to show his mixture of emotions at being accepted so easily, and Hotchner just smiled thinly.

“My friends call me Hotch.”

* * *

“Shut up, here they come.” the team turned away when they stepped out of the office, badly pretending to be doing their work. Russell snorted.

“Your desk will be right over here,” Hotch said, rolling his eyes at the rest of the team. Russell followed the gesture, putting his bag in the chair as Hotch got the team’s attention.

“Guys, this is Agent Russell Scott. You already knew he was coming.”

“We knew the bare minimum.” one of them - Russell was pretty sure it was Agent Morgan - protested. “We’re a curious bunch, Hotch.”

“Scott, this is Agent Derek Morgan,” Hotch confirmed Russell’s initial thoughts, and Russell nodded. “Agent Emily Prentiss,” he gestured to the dark-haired woman. “Agent Jennifer Jareau,” the blonde. “And Dr. Spencer Reid.” Russell’s eyes widened. He’d forgotten Dr. Reid was on this team, too distracted by the change in job.

“Dr. Reid! I forgot you’d be here - it’s so good to be able to see you again, I-”

“What, the kid knows people outside of work?” Morgan laughed, nudging Reid’s shoulder.

“Ah, ignore him,” Reid said with an awkward smile. “If it’s any consolation, Russell, I didn’t know it was you joining the team until this morning.”

“Any friend of Spence is a friend of mine,” Jareau said, holding out a hand. “Call me JJ.”

“Nice to meet you all,” Russell smiled, nodding to Morgan and Prentiss. The group slowly dispersed back to their own desks, though Dr. Reid stayed behind a bit.

“How have you been doing?” he asked lowly, once the others seemed immersed in their work. “I know you wanted to join the bureau, but I never thought…”

“There were some exceptions made, in my case.” Russell chuckled. “And some conditions were agreed upon. I’m doing really well, though.”

“I’m glad to hear it, you know, I read your most recent paper, and it really helped put different trauma responses into perspective, I can see how useful that will be in victimology.”

“That’s why I’m here.” Russell wasn’t surprised. He’d first met Dr. Reid when he worked at a local college. Reid had been doing a deep dive into researching dissociative disorders for some reason. Russell hadn’t asked why, as it had seemed personal to him. “That, and a lot of unsubs have survived trauma as well.”

“It’s a weird dichotomy, isn’t it?” Reid mused. “The differences survivors can have?”

“I think it all goes down to the situation.” Russell shrugged. “Psychology is such a fluid thing, especially when it comes to trauma.”

“Well, at least you being a nerd makes it easier to believe you already knew Reid,” Morgan called, laughing from his desk. 

“You psychologically profile people for a living.” Russell shot back. “I think that makes you a nerd, too.”

“Oh, how the mighty have fallen.” Prentiss laughed, while Morgan just opened and closed his mouth a few times.

“W- okay, that’s fair. But not every nerd can kick in doors every day, too.”

“Actually, if you know where the doorknob or deadbolt is on the door, it’s pretty easy to kick in a door if you have average leg strength.” Reid piped up, making his way back to his own desk. “If the brunt of the hit is on the deadbolt, it’s easier to break it through the doorframe.”

“Or just take the hinges off,” Russell added.

“I did not come here today to get made fun of,” Morgan announced, turning back to his desk and dramatically ignoring them. 

Russell winced, suddenly worried he’d actually hurt Morgan’s feelings. But Prentiss caught his eye and smiled, shaking her head. They seemed to know each other well, and he trusted that she’d know what lines not to cross.

The next few hours passed easily, Russell unpacked his few things into the desk and started reading through a case - one that several other team members would also chime in on since he was new. That, and he was a trauma specialist. His focus was on the interviews with surviving victims or witnesses who found the bodies, etc.

He glanced up once, spotting a blonde woman in a brightly colored dress speedwalking to Hotch’s office, stepping inside and closing the door with a snap. Weird. Nobody else seemed to find this surprising, though, so he just looked back at the file. Hotch was the unit chief, a lot of people would need to talk to him.

* * *

“Wh- Garcia, what’s wrong?” Aaron frowned when Penelope stormed in, closing the door. “What’s going on?”

“Okay, I know you kept the guy’s name from me before now because you didn’t want me to dig into his life, but let me just say that if a suspect did that you’d find it super suspicious.” She said, waving her hands around and pacing. “But… Hotch, do you… do you know this guy? Do you know anything about-”

“He has a dissociative disorder.” Hotch sighed, rubbing his forehead. Of course. “I thought I told you to stop-”

“You’re my family, Hotch!” Garcia sounded offended. “I have to make sure you’re in good hands at all times!”

“Agent Scott isn’t dangerous,” Hotch said sternly. “Sit.”

“But-”

“Now.” He narrowed his gaze into a stern glare, and Garcia sat. “He’s gone through several psychiatric evaluations, including one by Rossi. He was recruited by the FBI on purpose, due to his study and expertise of traumatized individuals. He himself set conditions that he would remain unarmed, and that he’d not be a full field agent. Do you have any specific concerns, or are you assuming he’s dangerous based on his diagnosis?”

“I…” Garcia gaped at him. “Don’t… Hotch, you know I don’t assume bad things just because of mental illness! But… does the team know? What happens if he has… has a thing in the middle of a case? What about Reid? He was-”

“Reid was the person to suggest Agent Scott be recruited,” Hotch said, smiling slightly. “Agent Scott isn’t dangerous, Garcia. Please do not confront him about this. That’s an order.”


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> next chapter, and the boy is getting his first experience on a case lmaoo. 
> 
> Warnings: death, murder, canon typical violence, trauma, abuse mentions, etc.

“She’s the technical analyst, right?” Russell asked, nodding over as Penelope Garcia walked past. The past two days, since he’d arrived, she’d been oddly distant. Reid looked up, frowning.

“Yeah. She still hasn’t warmed up to you yet? I know she doesn’t like change, but…” he trailed off, eyes darting back and forth as he apparently thought of something. “Agh, I think I know what’s going on.”

“Care to tell me, or do you want me to figure it out?” Russell chuckled. “Lunch break is almost over, so you better decide fast.”

“She… she can find things out about people.” Reid sighed. “It’s useful for cases, but she has a habit of looking into the past of… anyone we interact with. I suspect it’s residual trauma of close calls we’ve all had, but-”

“She knows I’m a system.” Russell summed up, spirits falling slightly. He’d hoped he could let people know on his own time, and that they’d react well to it.

“Probably.” Spencer looked apologetic. “She doesn’t mean any harm, though. I can talk to her.”

“Ah, you don’t have to. I’m sure I’ll be-”

“Better wrap that up,” JJ said, walking swiftly past with a stack of case files. “We’ve got a rough one.” the breakroom had a collective sigh, and the team regrouped at the round table.

“For the past two months around Nashville Tennessee, four different women have been found left in ditches beside backroads.” JJ began, pulling up pictures of the four victims. “They were all strangled with either a rope or a cord.”

“Well, he definitely has a type,” Prentiss muttered. She was right. All four women had round faces, and in the pictures of them before their death, they all had the same lopsided smile and dimples.

“Any sexual assault?”

“Strangely, no.” JJ shook her head. “There’s no sign that even their shoes were removed after they put them on that morning.”

“He positions them to look like they’re sleeping,” Reid murmured. “Look, hands folded and eyes closed. With the forest setting, it almost looks like it could be mimicking Snow White.”

“Once he starts leaving them in glass coffins, I’d agree,” Rossi said. “When did they go missing?”

“Hours before their death,” JJ replied. “It seems that once he has them, his only goal is killing them.”

“Definitely surrogates for someone,” Russell noted. “Did they know each other?”

“Garcia’s looking into it.” JJ pressed a button on the phone. “Find anything yet, Pen?”

“Not even a hello, what has our friendship come to?” Garcia mourned. “One of these days, you won’t even remember my name.”

“Garcia.”

“As far as I can tell, the only connection between these four is their looks. Such cuties, too. They look like rays of sunshine. Oh, and they’re all enrolled in college. Not all the same one and I’ve got to keep looking at their school records, in case they shared any classes, but I’ll get back to you.”

“Thank you.” Hotch shook his head. “This unsub clearly has a mission, and until he finishes it he’s not going to stop. Wheels up in thirty.”

* * *

On the flight over, the team speculated a bit more but there weren’t any connections between the victims. No shared classes, no shared teachers, no mutual friends. Nashville was a big place, and they just so happened to live nearby.

“Scott, you and Rossi should go talk to the victims' families. Try and get any read on what might connect the victims. Prentiss, Morgan, most recent crime scene. The rest of us will set up at the local precinct.” Hotch said as they left the airport. 

Russell got in an SUV with Agent Rossi, and they made their way to the house where the most recent victim - Marie Wells - had lived with her parents and younger brother. 

“I know it’s hard to talk about, Mr. Wells,” Rossi said once they’d made introductions. “But we need to know everything about your daughter. Even the smallest detail could help.”

“We just don’t know why anyone would do this to her.” the man said tearfully. “She’s the most loving, gentle person on the planet. Like a ray of sunshine. All she does is try to help people.”

“Did she seem to be acting any different the past few weeks?” Russell asked. “Maybe she was quieter, or nervous?”

“No… no, she was as happy as ever.”

“...did she seem happier than usual?” Russell suggested. “She was in drama school, right? She’s probably good at putting on a face. If something was wrong, would she have tried to hide it?”

“She was happy,” Mrs. Wells - who hadn’t spoken yet - suddenly said. “But she wasn’t singing. She would always sing while she did the dishes - but this week… I should have known something was wrong!”

“It’s impossible to notice everything,” Rossi said gently. “Thank you for talking with us. We’ll let you know if we need anything else.”

The rest of the interviews went similarly. Eerily so. All four victims were described as sunshine, as caretakers. Loving, generous, etc.

They got to the precinct just as a call came in of another body found.

“He’s speeding up.” Morgan griped, looking at the new picture. “But he’s still managing to stick to the theme. Look at her, she could be the other's sister.” Russell paused, gears turning in response to Morgan’s choice of words. He could hear the voices in the back of his head - always wanting to help him - assist in putting the pieces together.

“Geographical profile is all over the place.” Reid sighed. “He knows the backroads, he probably grew up around here. Not in Nashville - in one of the smaller towns nearby.”

“That narrows it down a bit.” Hotch frowned. “If we can figure out who the victims are surrogates for, we should be able to find him. Wife, girlfriend, mother…”

“Wait.” Russell stood up, hitting the button to call Garcia. 

“Thank you for joining us at the library of all knowledge everywhere.” she cheerfully answered. “What can I do for you?”

“Garcia, how many of the victims had siblings?” Russell asked.

“Uhm…” Garcia paused, and they could all hear her typing away. “All of them. Maria had a younger brother, Danny had an older sister and a younger brother, Rain had two younger brothers, Julia had a younger brother and a younger sister… and the most recent victim had a younger brother as well.”

“...well that’s definitely a weird connection,” Morgan said after a moment. “All of them had younger brothers. What made you think of that, Scott?”

“It’s a theory,” Russell shrugged. “But the profile points to someone around the age of the victims. If the surrogate was for a sibling, it would make sense why he kills people the same age as him without sexually assaulting them.”

“That’s a good point,” Prentiss said, frowning thoughtfully. “It would also explain the remorse. If the unsub sees these girls as a sibling, he’d definitely feel guilty for killing them.”

“It’s a strong theory, but we can’t just look for college-aged men with siblings.” Hotch pointed out. “We’re in the bible belt - most families have at least three kids. And the profile also says he grew up out here, so he definitely fits in.”

“What if we use the victimology against him?” Morgan said slowly. “Hold a press conference, let people know that this guy kills girls that look like this. With a type this specific, the person he really wants to kill will definitely see herself in those pictures.”

“That might be a good course of action, no matter how she relates to the unsub.” Hotch nodded. “JJ, how soon can you put that together?”

“I’m already on it.”

“Okay, let’s say your theory is right.” Morgan sighed as JJ walked off, the phone to her ear. “Why would someone want to kill their sister?”

“Sibling killing sibling is actually the first recorded type of murder,” Reid said. “Sure, it was two brothers, but it's not as uncommon as you think.”

“Killing surrogates usually points to some kind of slight or abuse, even if it was imagined,” Russell added. “If the crimes were sexual in nature, I’d suggest a girlfriend or wife somehow slighted him in that way. Since it’s not, I’d say the unsub connects this look with whatever trauma he thinks occurred. It’s highly possible there was trauma or abuse, and it may have been unreported if he’s taking it into his own hands like this.” he glanced up to see Morgan and Prentiss staring at him. “What? I’m a trauma specialist. This is why I’m here.”

“Yeah, fair enough.” Prentiss looked thoughtfully at the map Reid had made. “Okay, how about this. What if the Geo profile isn’t as all over the place as we thought?”

“Do you see this map?” Reid protested. “There’s literally nothing to connect it except for backroads and those roads aren’t connected to each other in any obvious way.”

“She may have something, actually.” Russell frowned, leaning forward to look at the map. “Say you grew up in the rural area of Tennessee. Your family is either really religious, rednecks, or both. If there’s abuse at home, it would be incredibly difficult to escape due to the literal isolation.”

“If that were me, I’d spend a lot of time outside,” Rossi added.

“Garcia, can we get a map of what property is public or private in the area?” Hotch asked, passing Reid another marker as he went back to work at the profile. “Anywhere that might be off official maps and where the unsub could stay.”

“Finding a literal safe space is extremely common in abuse victims,” Russell added. “It could be a place kids would hang out, and it stuck with him. A park, a treehouse, anything like that.”

“You guys really love giving me hard things to search for,” Garcia grumbled. “I’ll get back to you if I find anything.”

“We really need to figure this out,” Morgan grumbled. “This guy’s gonna strike again as soon as he sees someone who fits the victimology.”

“Then we better hope that the press conference gets us a list of potential targets,” Hotch said grimly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I base this victimology on my own past abuser? yes. Am I sorry? no. I'm not killing surrogates, I'm just projecting. I'm not gonna kill people, dudes. No worries. That's why I'm a writer.
> 
> Lol, I'm aware that doesn't ease any concern. Oh well.
> 
> Terminology Guide:   
> A System - someone with Alters (osdd or did)  
> 'Voices' - Russell being able to communicate with his alters without them fronting, kinda just hearing them in his thoughts
> 
> Comments are appreciated!
> 
> Love you all,  
> \- Coby


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ahhhhhhh I'm sorry it's been like a million years since I updated this lol I got sucked into a podcast called The Adventure Zone, which I highly recommend, and forgot anything else existed.
> 
> New chapter! Complete with angst and snippets of backstory for my boy Russell.
> 
> Warnings: abuse, strangulation, death, canon typical violence, implied child abuse, implied past abuse, angst.
> 
> Enjoy!

“We’ve got a person in the precinct who won’t leave until they talk to you.” one of the local detectives said, drawing the team’s attention. “Two, actually. A girl and her mother. I think you’ll be interested in this.”

Sure enough, Kristen Cambell looked almost exactly like the other five victims. Russell could hear the voices in the back of his mind, whispering comments and theories to each other and him. He shook his head, trying to silence them again.

“Do you know anything that might relate to these murders?” Prentiss asked, gently getting Kristen to look up at them. They were in a smaller interview room, while Rossi and Morgan spoke to the girls' mother.

“I… I’m not sure.” Kristen said, voice trembling. “Those girls look just like me, and on the news, they said that it might be important. And... and I keep getting these weird text messages. I wasn’t really paying attention to the murders - I try to look at the brighter side of life, you know? So I thought it was just some kid playing a joke on me. But… now that I know the dates and times… they’re the same.”

“What do the text messages say…?” Prentiss asked softly, glancing at Russell. Russell knew what she was thinking. If the unsub was somehow notifying Kristen of every murder, it was incredibly possible she was the person he really wanted to kill.

“Just… numbers. One through five. I got the last one yesterday, right… right after that girl was killed.” Kristen blinked away tears and shook her head. “That’s why I thought it was a joke, y’know? Just some kid laughing at the idea of someone getting random numbers texted to them.”

“Do you know anyone who might do this?” Russell asked. Prentiss sent him a somewhat scandalized look, but it’s not like he’d said it abruptly or accusingly.

“I…” Kristen’s face fell, and she looked down. “I don’t think so…”

“Do you have any siblings, Kristen? Maybe they know something about the texts.” Russell asked lightly, getting up to refill Kristen’s water cup.

“Well… I guess there’s Zack.” Kristen sounded increasingly hesitant. “But I doubt he knows about the texts - he doesn’t even live with us anymore. He’s my younger brother. He moved out right after he turned eighteen…”

Prentiss looked at Russell, who tilted his head a bit. 

“I’m going to be one hundred percent blunt with you, Kristen,” he said, smiling grimly when he handed her the cup and sat back down. “In cases of domestic abuse, it rarely gets reported. Child abuse a bit more than that between partners, but do you know the most uncommon type to be reported or dealt with?”

“What are you trying to say?”

“Abuse from siblings. It doesn’t really seem like a thing, to most people. Kids wrestle, and they make mistakes. Right?”

“I… I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Why doesn’t Zack talk to you anymore?” Russell asked.

“... I…” Kristen took a sip of her water, forcing a watery smile. “It’s like you said, Agent Scott. Kids do stupid things when they’re kids. It’s not even real life, y’know? People like Zack can hold grudges for years and years, it’s exhausting.”

“Kristen,” Prentiss said slowly. “Would you mind telling us what he held a grudge about?”

“It’s not abuse,” Kristen said firmly, meeting Russell’s gaze aggressively. “We’re siblings. Siblings play all sorts of games, and sometimes people get hurt. It’s not my fault if he can’t forgive me for something that happened years ago, but I don't think this has anything to do with these girls being killed.”

“Alright, alright.” Russell stood, feeling slightly ill. He glanced at Prentiss, who looked at him in slight concern. Ugh, he hoped it wasn’t too obvious how irritated the things he just heard made him. “I’ll step out and let you girls talk, then. Alright?” 

He left, shoulders slumping as he made his way back to the room they’d set up in. 

“How’d it go?” Reid asked, not looking away from the evidence board.

“Hey, Garcia,” Russell called her, not even worried about her weirdly distant reaction to him. “What can you tell me about Zack Cambell? Kristen’s younger brother, moved out when he turned eighteen.”

“Uhh…” he could hear her clicking away at the keyboard. “Oh, that was… that was only a few months ago. Right before the first murder. He’s barely an adult. Rents an apartment on the very edge of Nashville… drives a blue pickup truck.”

“Any medical incidents?” Russell asked. “Way back, when he was a kid. It’s not likely it was reported as violence, but he might have gone to the hospital?”

“Let me see… hmm.” Garcia hummed a bit to herself. “When he was eight, he fell out of a tree in his yard and broke his arm. And when he was ten, it looks like he swam a bit too far out into a river near his house, nearly drowned. And then when he was thirteen… oh, he tried to kill himself.”

“Okay.” Russell frowned, rubbing his eyes. “Okay, okay.”

He really shouldn’t have let Kristen get under his skin like that. Just… ‘it’s not even really abuse’. Those words. Those words were his least favorite combination of words in the entire world. 

“Where is he now, Garcia?” Russell looked up, surprised to see Hotch had joined them. He’d been watching the interviews, and Russell had completely forgotten to talk to him when he left the room. Hotch met his gaze, face grim. “Kristen just confessed to Prentiss that she’d strangled him several times in their childhood, amongst other things. He’s almost definitely the unsub.”

“He lives about ten minutes away from you…” Garcia said quickly. “But he works at a gas station even closer, and it looks like he just clocked out! I’m sending you the address and the license plate to his truck.”

“Reid, come with me. Scott, stay here and tell the others where we’re headed, and to follow us as soon as possible. As long as he’s in the public, he’s hunting for his next victim.”

“I’ll tell them.” Russell nodded, heading to the interview rooms while the other two left. His head was still spinning, but he managed to tell the others what was happening before he went back to the conference room. It was empty, and he was able to sit down and finally try to process the incident healthily.

He knew how people looked at this kind of thing. Abuse and trauma was an uncomfortable subject in the best of situations, and a complete taboo at worst. Nobody wanted to talk about it, especially if they viewed it as in the past. 

“Hey,” Russell jumped, head snapping up when JJ gently touched his shoulder. Right. Right, she was a liaison. She didn’t usually go into the field either. He’d have to remember that. “You doing okay? I was watching that interview… you seemed pretty rattled.”

“Yeah, I’m good.” Russell smiled thinly, and he knew she didn’t believe it. JJ might not be a profiler, but she’d worked with them long enough that she probably knew when someone was lying. JJ sat down across from him, waiting expectantly. Russell sighed. “I’m passionate about… I’m passionate about helping trauma victims. People who don’t understand, generally think of trauma as a singular event. Right? A car crash, a fight, a shooting.”

“Right.”

“Well, psychologically, it’s not.” Russell rubbed his forehead, trying to contain his annoyance at the thought. “It’s a constant thing until you deal with it. Like, with Kristen and Zack. Kristen wasn’t traumatized, not by what she did. It was just the moment. Zack? He never dealt with that. So, the trauma was a constant state of being for him, and he snapped.”

“Yikes, that doesn’t sound fun…” JJ pursed her lips. “I can take a few guesses as to why you’re so passionate about this, but I won’t. Just know that we’re a family here, Russell. You have something on your mind, I can listen.”

“We should be focusing on the case,” Russell muttered, glancing at his watch. They very well could have caught him by now, but they’d probably call if they did. 

“Your reaction to the case is what helped us find Zack.” JJ sighed. “And you’re still reacting to the case, so why don’t you talk to me? I’ve been told I keep secrets pretty well.”

“It’s not really a secret,” Russell grumbled in defeat. “A lot of trauma survivors dedicate their lives to the protection of others. I’m sure all of you were traumatized before you joined the bureau.”

“Fair point.” JJ laughed. “Kinda sucks that your first real case with us would strike such a cord, though. A personal one?”

“Are you sure you’re not a profiler?” Russell laughed sadly. “If you must know, I’ve got special experience with victims of abuse between siblings. It’s one reason I decided to study trauma. Do you really want to get into backstories right now?”

“Well, now that you mention it-” luckily, she was cut off by the phone ringing and answered it. “Hey, Spence. How’s it going?”

“We got him.” Reid sounded out of breath. “He had another girl in his truck already - she looks just like the others. She’s okay, though. We’re on our way back.”

“Oh, thank god.” JJ sighed in relief. “We’ll see you when you get here.” she hung up, then looked at Russell. “Well, would you look at that, Agent Scott. Your special experience saved that girl’s life.”

“I guess so.” Russell smiled, and he realized dully that JJ completely misunderstood what he meant by experience. Because that specific experience, it hadn’t come from a study or a research product. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *looks at the note where I mentioned fashioning this victimology on a past abuser* now we don't have time to unpack all that! What do y'all think? I don't usually do OC main characters in fic, so I'm curious at how you think I'm doing.
> 
> Comments are always appreciated!
> 
> Love you all,  
> -Coby


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey lol sorry I vanished for like,,, a million years. Life's wack Here's the next chapter!
> 
> Warnings: not much tbh, unintentional ableism, headache mentions, minor mentions of trauma
> 
> enjoy!

“Anybody else notice how high strung Scottie over there was by the end of that case?” Morgan murmured to JJ and Prentiss as they got off the plane. Scott was walking next to Reid - they were talking about some kind of study he’d worked on.

“He’s worked almost exclusively with trauma victims before this,” JJ said. “Kristen was pretty harsh about defending herself. It’s gotta hurt to know that after everything he’s worked toward, there’s still people who refuse to accept their own actions.”

“Nah, I think it’s more than that.” Prentiss shook her head. “I was sitting right next to him when she threw his words back in his face, I think it really hurt him. He seems to be doing better now, though.”

“He’s good at this, and he’s got a new perspective,” Morgan admitted. “Garcia doesn’t like him and she won’t tell me why, maybe she knows something?”

“I don’t know why she wouldn’t like him.” JJ frowned. “For all he’s seen in his research and career, he’s a pretty upbeat guy.”

“You three wouldn’t be profiling a team member, would you?” Hotch asked from directly behind them. Derek jumped, then rolled his eyes.

“You gotta warn us before you do that, man! Besides, we’re just talking. It’s not profiling if we’re just worried about a friend.”

“Scott’s perfectly fine,” Hotch said calmly. “And I’m sure he’d answer your questions if you asked them in the right setting. He’s only been with us a week, and he hasn’t built up the same level of trust as you all have. None of you were open and honest like you are now the first week you were here.”

“Go ahead and call us out, then.” Morgan groaned, shaking his head. “But you sound like you know something about this.”

“I noticed his emotional reaction to the case and asked, and he explained his situation. It’s a perfectly valid one, so don’t go asking Garcia to dig into his history. I've already had to tell her off about that.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” JJ yawned, shaking her head a bit to stay awake. “I’m ready to go home and sleep, I dunno about you.”

“I think we all should.” Hotch nodded, breaking off to go to his office and collect his things. “See you all tomorrow.”

Morgan made a short pit stop at his desk, then went to stop by Penelope’s lair before leaving. 

“Hey, gorgeous.” he knocked, and she turned around quickly.

“Oh, you’re back!” he was engulfed in a hug, and Derek laughed. “How was the flight?”

“Uneventful.” Derek smiled, stepping back. “Thanks for your help today, by the way.”

“Oh, I just followed your whims.” Garcia waved a hand, fluttering the fingers. “New guy seemed to help a lot, huh?” and there it was. That guarded bitterness in her voice. Derek frowned. Technically, Hotch told him not to ask her to dig into his life. But, if she already knew something, he wouldn’t really be doing that.

“What is it with you and Scott?” he asked, leaning on the desk. “You’ve barely talked to the guy, but you seem to hate him.”

“Wh- I don’t hate him!” Garcia pouted. “I don't know what…” she trailed off when Derek raised an eyebrow. “God, I hate profilers. Alright, I admit it, I’m a bit cautious around the guy. But I don’t hate him, okay? And I can’t really tell you anything about him, because Hotch would kill me.”

“Man, Hotch is really cracking down on this no profiling the team thing, huh?” Derek sighed. “What could be so personal that only the guy himself could tell us about it?”

“This is, Derek,” Garcia said, meeting his gaze unblinkingly. Derek stood a bit taller, surprised. “I really shouldn’t have looked into his past, because it’s not my business. If he wants you to know, you will.”

“Okay.” Derek nodded, now convinced. If it was personal enough for Garcia to honestly want to keep her mouth shut, he’d let it go. “I’m sorry, baby girl. Didn’t mean to push you.”

“Oh, it’s fine.” Garcia waved her hand, logging off the computers and packing up. “Walk to the elevator with me, beautiful?”

“Of course.”

* * *

“Headache?” Reid nodded to the bottle of ibuprofen on Russell’s desk, and he nodded.

“It happens sometimes.” Russell shrugged, flipping to the next page of paperwork.

“You need any coffee? I’m on my way.”

“I don’t really drink coffee.” Russell shook his head. Reid made a noise of mock terror but continued on his way to the coffee station.

“No coffee? What kind of nerd doesn't drink coffee?” Morgan teased.

“Admitting you’re a nerd then?” Russell looked up and grinned. Morgan looked at the coffee cup on his desk silently, then back at Russell.

“Why don’t you drink coffee?” he asked curiously.

“It makes me too jittery,” Russell said simply. That was the easy answer. The whole answer was a lot more complicated, and he didn’t want to get into it right now. “And when I have a headache, it makes the whole thing worse.”

“I dunno if Dr. Reid over there would even exist without coffee,” Morgan said, raising his voice so Reid could hear it. Reid just stared him in the eye and took a long drink from his cup. “What do you do to stay awake?”

“Self-control.”

“Wow, you really really like taking digs at me don’t you,” Morgan complained.

“I mean, this time he technically insulted every person who drinks coffee to stay awake,” Reid said as he returned to the desks. “I don’t mind, though. He’s got a point.”

“Don’t side with the person making fun of you!” Morgan protested.

“I don’t make fun of people with lies, I only say the truth.” Russell declared. “It’s why I’m so popular.”

“Oh yeah? With who?”

“Cats.” 

“Oh my god, are you a cat person?” Prentiss had been listening in the whole time, but now she leaned across to Russell’s desk. “Would you like to see pictures of Sergio?”

“That’s a cat, I assume?” Russell put down his paperwork with a grin. “Absolutely.”

“You too, Emily?” Morgan threw his hands in the air. “Unbelievable. We’ve been working together for years, and you side with the new guy?”

“It’s because I’m cuter,” Russell said idly, grinning at the pictures of Prentiss’s black cat. “Holy shit, I love him. He’s perfect. Amazing.”

“And a guaranteed cure for most headaches,” Prentiss added.

“Actually, it’s most likely you simply get distracted from the pain by focusing on something outside yourself.” Reid piped up. “Focusing on ignoring the pain only makes it more obvious, but by directing your attention to something else entirely, you can block it out.”

“Fascinating,” Morgan grumbled, though he sounded amused. 

“Whatever you say, Doc.” Russell pulled out his own phone, finding a picture of his roommate’s cat. “This is Sir. Waffleton.”

“Oh my god.”

“You guys know we’re at work, right?” Morgan complained. “I don’t think we get paid to look at cats.”

“Garcia does, technically. She looks at cat pictures to distract herself from grisly murder.” Reid took another sip of his coffee. “Exhibit B for my earlier statement.”

“Okay, we get it, you’re a genius.” Prentiss leaned back away, putting her phone down. “We’ll swap cat pictures later, Russ.” Russell blinked, slightly surprised by the nickname. No one else seemed phased by it, as they all returned to the piles of paperwork they’d racked up while away on the case.

It had been a while since anyone gave him a nickname. The last person to do that was probably his roommate, but they’d been friends for years and he’d had the same nickname most of that time. He knew this team worked like a family, so he really shouldn’t be too surprised. He just hadn’t expected them to welcome him so quickly.

Or… Russell glanced up when Garcia passed by on her way to the break room. Most of them had, at least. He felt bad… and he wanted to find a way to get on her good side. He’d just have to figure something out. Maybe Dr. Reid would be able to help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? We've got some stuff happening next chapter! it's growth. it's good, solid, character growth.
> 
> Comments are appreciated!
> 
> Love you all,  
> -Coby


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been awhile, shit's wack and life is crazy
> 
> Warnings: not much, kindof a chill chapter, talk about OSDD/DID, and food mentions
> 
> enjoy!

“Hey…?” Penelope looked up in surprise when someone knocked lightly on the door to her lair. Most of the team wasn’t here yet - oh. It was the new guy. She stood up, opening the door the rest of the way. He looked… young. Sure, she knew he was one of the youngest team members, but he was just so nervous he seemed to lose ten years just from posture.

“Well hello there, newbie! What can I do for you?”

“Uhm, I made this.” Penelope looked down at what he was holding. “It’s a vegan chocolate cheesecake. Uh, I don’t know if you’re vegan or not. I’m not, but my roommate is, and this is really tasty… you don’t have any allergies right?”

“No, I don’t.” Penelope stepped back, letting him in and gesturing to the table away from her computers. She was baffled, and not sure if she should be unsettled. “What’s it for?”

“Oh, um… a peace offering. I guess.” the guy’s shoulders fell, and he looked a bit defeated. “I… I realize that you know about me, and I know it’s something you’d have liked to been told about in person.”

“Oh.” Now, Penelope felt awful. She’d done what Hotch told her not to do and discovered a private detail about Russell’s life. It had definitely impacted how she treated him, and he’d obviously noticed. “Oh, sweetheart, I’m so sorry.” Russell frowned, looking confused.

“Wh- wait, what? Why are you sorry? I’m here to apologize to you, and maybe get on your good side I guess…”

“I shouldn’t have dug into your past.” Penelope wrung her hands a bit. “And I shouldn’t be treating you like I have been just because of…”

“Sure, you should be.” Russell shrugged, and now Penelope was surprised all over again. “With limited details, and what I’m guessing is minimal to zero experience with people who have OSDD or DID, you don’t want to act incorrectly. And you don’t want to get hurt, and thanks to misconceptions…”

“Okay, wow, you sound kind of like Reid.” Penelope giggled a bit.

“I do?”

“Yeah, but that’s okay.” Penelope gently patted his cheek. “You also said some acronyms I don’t understand. What d’you say we break into this cheesecake, and I can ask annoying questions? If you want to, I guess.”

“I’ll answer them.” Russell smiled brightly, taking a seat in the extra chair Penelope had gestured to. This was… not what she’d expected. But she was glad he’d given her the opportunity to apologize, and to understand him more.

“So, first of all,” Penelope spoke once they’d cut the cheesecake and served it on her stash of paper plates and plastic silverware. “What does OSDD stand for?”

“Otherwise specified dissociative disorder,” Russell said, grinning. “Essentially, dissociative disorders that don’t fit the exact criteria of DID. I’ve been diagnosed with OSDD type one-B.”

“Okay, good to know there’s an umbrella term thing going on.” Penelope nodded thoughtfully. “What part of the criteria don’t you fit, if you mind me asking?”

“With OSDD 1-b, it’s the amnesia,” Russell explained. “I can remember everything unless it’s traumatic enough that my subconscious blocks that completely. So I don’t lose time when my alters front. Even if I did, it wouldn’t be too serious nowadays, because they usually stay back in the headspace and communicate from there.”

“...right.” Penelope took a bite of the cheesecake - which was heavenly - and thought over all that information for a moment. “So, headspace?”

“Basically a mini world where my alters live.” Russell shrugged. “Like, a house. They’ve all got a room. It’s… complicated, I guess. If they need to talk to me, I just kinda hear their voice in my head? But it… thoughts, or feelings. That’s the easiest way to describe it.”

“Okay, that all makes sense. As far as I know.” Penelope frowned. “I’m not a psychology nerd like the rest of you, I’m a computer geek.”

“That’s fine,” Russell promised, laughing a bit. “And it’s okay if you have questions. I don’t mean for this to be a secret, I just didn’t want this to be all everyone saw me as. That’s why I haven’t really told anyone.”

“I understand.” Penelope still felt a bit guilty. “I shouldn’t have dug. Now that I know you, though… you’re just a big old softie aren’t you?”

“That I am.” Russell snickered. “Think you can keep that one to yourself for a bit longer?”

“Oh, my lips are sealed,” Penelope promised. “As far as I know, you’re tough as nails.” 

Russell laughed again, and their conversation continued. Penelope was already getting attached to him, and by the time he went to his desk to work, she knew she’d probably do anything to keep that boy smiling.

* * *

“What about you, Russ?” Russell looked up when Prentiss pulled him into the conversation. He hadn’t been paying too much attention, but Morgan had been talking about his family in Chicago. “You going to see your family for the holidays?”

“Probably not.” Russell grimaced at the thought. “Haven’t talked to them in eight years, it would be awkward to show up there.”

“I’ll drink to that.” Prentiss laughed, while Morgan looked troubled.

“Eight years is a long time, Scott.”

“Yeah, I know.” Russell grinned. “It’s fine, Morgan. Besides, they all live across the country. I hardly ever have the time to go out there, and now that I’m working here I have even less.”

“If you say so.”

“Come on, Morgan.” Prentiss rolled her eyes. “Not everyone’s family is as awesome and close as yours is.”

“Yeah, I know that. But you still talk to your mom, at least.”

“If this is gonna turn into you trying to get me back in contact with them, I’ll start ignoring you too,” Russell warned teasingly.

“Nah, you like me too much for that.” Morgan grinned. 

“Yeah, keep tellin’ yourself that.”

“Are you two going at it again?” JJ wondered, walking in with Reid, cups of coffee in hand. Reid handed one of his to Morgan, and JJ to Prentiss.

“Hey, I was just trying to do my work,” Russell said innocently, holding up his hands. “These guys are distracting me.”

“Oh, wow, thanks,” Prentiss complained, rolling her eyes. “We’ve got almost no paperwork, Russ. You and Reid are like machines, you don’t even need us.”

“We’ve all got our own-” Russell stopped, narrowing his eyes. “You wouldn’t happen to know why I have more paperwork than usual, do you?”

“No idea.” Prentiss turned away sipping her coffee. 

“Aw, c’mon Emily.” Reid sighed. “I’m okay with you doing that because I can read 20,000 words per minute. But Russell isn’t a genius like that.”

“Oh, thanks.”

“I meant you’re better with people and I’m better with paperwork.” Reid insisted. “I’m not saying you aren’t smart.”

“Take your paperwork back, Prentiss,” Russell said, earning a sheepish smile from both her and Morgan as they retrieved a few files.

“Woww.” JJ chuckled, shaking her head. “You’re lucky Hotch is in his office, or he’d give you a talking to.”

“He’s already talked to them about it, several times.” Reid chuckled, sitting down at his desk. “But I hardly even notice when they do it.”

“You guys are lucky I like you,” Russell said jokingly.

“Ah, now you admit it. After you get us in trouble.” Morgan pouted at him from across the desks. Russell just shrugged, and the room fell into a comfortable silence as they all returned to paperwork.

He really hadn’t known what to expect, coming into this. But now he understood what Agent Rossi had told him after the psych eval - the BAU really was like a family. A real family, not like the one he’d left behind eight years ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Awee Garcia and Russell have made amends! it's beautiful. She tries her best, and he tries his best, and I've had that cheesecake irl and it really is delicious.
> 
> Love you all,  
> \- Rex

**Author's Note:**

> Terminology Guide!  
> OSDD - Otherwise Specified Dissociative Disorder   
> System - Someone with DID or OSDD, aka a 'split personality'
> 
> Thoughts? I'd love feedback!
> 
> Comments are appreciated!
> 
> Love you all,  
> -Coby


End file.
